shaun says i need to relax more when i'm sprinting, that i tend to tense up and become very stiff
i shall try it soon. when we get to row k1 again. k2 feels bloody slow. people say we're fast. but i know we're not fast enough, and gabby knows that too. sometimes when the water gets really heavy, i curse and swear at myself for not being strong enough. and i wonder if the water in front's so heavy she can barely move. 5 min isnt fast enough. that's only 230 for 500m and that won't win balls. charmaine and jasmine didn't win with 215, so we need to hit 2min to win. that makes it 4 min per 1k, meaning we have to cut our timings by 1 whole bloody min. and i need to get stronger. kick more, twist more, get stronger. shaun also says my k1 has to hit 445 for 1k to win something, anything for nats. i thought 530 was not bad, but he says it's too damn slow to be any good at anything and that i should stop trying to sprint 1k and just paddle and a steady stroke. i shall listen to him but i shall also try to paddle at a hard steady rate. i need to up my stamina in the water. i'm pathetic when it comes to stamina. i need to learn to relax and stop slacking, even when there're big waves and what not.
in short, i need to get stronger, more stamina, and i need to push
to get faster, and faster and faster
so i can win something, and for once in my life be of any value at all

i.need.to.move.faster
i need to start pole vaulting in the boat
i need to co-ordinate with gabrina
i need to stop being such a pussy
let myself get thrown around by gabrina and stop fighting her
use body weight to pull
kick less crazily

training was quite okay t'day
i started out in a t1, the rj's trash 07
and it felt good, mainly cause it was a low seat and the boat was damnnn comfortable
i tried doing a high seat, it felt horrible.
i wasn't horribly unstable, but i felt very vunerable
as if the slightest of exertions on my paddle would make me cap
and then i realised i shouldn't be such a pussy and be so afraid of capping
and i rowed. and i capped.
on a slightly happier note, my direction's getting better! maybe because the t1's rudder's easier to use [:
and i think my elbows are going up
at least i hope so. i need to kick harder and pull harder! too little power too slow a stroke rate
and i need to up my rotation like crazy! i'm too slow! TOO SLOW!
now i have to focus on going faster and straighter and working more in the water with a higher stroke rate!
a rather tall order
but hopefully achievable!
target: ROW A HIGHSEAT K1 PROPERLY by the end of august!

NCC was not as horrendous as i feared it would be [: i guess it was pretty good. even if it sucked at first [:
clocked some personal best of 2.25 but amanda says we have to shave 20 seconds off our timing if we want to get into finals next year. i need to improve my stability really very badly. i always get thrown off when gabrina kicks and we get very unstable. but she has to kick because that's the way theboat works, i just have to get used to it and become more stable and co-ordinate, and match her kicking so we're more stable. my strokes moving slightly higher according to rachel but i wouldn't know cause i couldn't see much.i should stop getting pissed when we cap. but i can't help it because 'm the bloody backman and if we cap it's my fault.have to run more often, need to up my aerobic fitness like crazy, i was almost half dead at the 250m mark. was breathing bloody heavily. we didn't even burst! no energy S: we have to up our burst and our strength and our mental strength. i mean for 250 we just gave up like that. i need to train harder. i can't even do 4 pull ups. 3's like a killer for me already
dammit
target: HIT 2 MIN
train train train train AND TRAIN

NCC day1

NCC was horrible today.did a 1.15 for 250m. our starts were horrible.and we were horribly unstable. it was a nonsense race.amanda says it just goes to show others are much more comfortable in their boats as compared to us. we really have to spend a hell lot of time more in the boat together if we're gonna be as stable as them. plus my elbows are still too low! i have to copy gabrina's stroke! my stroke's too low! somehow i can copy her stroke when our rotation's low. but once she ups rotation my stroke goes all the way back down. plus i don't think i'm using enough of my back!
aim:
1) keep my elbows up for pickups
2) be more stable! ('m the back man for gods sake :/)
'm hoping tomorrow's 500m race's gonna be better.
oh it will. IT WILL [: